Chinese Whispers
by Wendy Parkinson
Summary: The rumour mill at the SGC is working overtime


Title: Chinese Whispers  
Author: Wendy Parkinson  
Email: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com  
Category: Humour, S/J  
Spoilers: none  
Season/Sequel info: Anytime before Meridian  
Rating: PG  
Content Warnings: none  
Summary: The rumour mill at the SGC is working overtime....  
Date: 18th May 2002  
  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.  
  
Author's notes: A quick explanation of the title to those not in the UK - Chinese Whispers is a party game in which the players sit in a circle, and the first player thinks of a phrase or sentence (a message, the title of a film or book, etc.) and whispers it into the ear of the next player. This second player whispers it to the third player and so on, round the circle. When it returns to the first player, that player announces what the phrase has become and how it started: the two versions are often wildly different. (Explanation from www.askoxford.com)  
  
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.  
  
copyright Wendy Parkinson May 2002  
  
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CHINESE WHISPERS  
  
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Doctor Janet Fraiser leant over her patient, trying to get a better look at the mark on his forehead. She could have sworn it wasn't there five minutes ago. Colonel O'Neill snored softly, oblivious to her presence, as she peered at the small red welt. Did it just move? No, Janet, she chided herself, don't be ridiculous, rashes don't have a life of their own, you've been working twelve hours straight, go and get a coffee. She adjusted her position, twisting her head slightly and bending down until she was almost nose to nose with O'Neill, trying to get a better view. No, she thought with relief, it was just a minor abrasion she hadn't noticed before. Definitely time to get some coffee.  
  
She straightened up, turned towards the door and almost bumped into Carrie, one of her nurses. Oh goodness, Janet thought as she felt herself colouring with embarrassment, I hope she didn't see me inspecting that wound on the Colonel, she really will think I've lost the plot.  
  
"How is he?" asked the nurse, staring at the Doctor curiously.  
  
"Fine. Sedated. He shouldn't give you any trouble. I'll be in the commissary if you need me." Janet fled. She could tell from the look on Carrie's face that she'd seen her strange behaviour. Oh well, nice men in clean white coats here I come, thought Janet, as she headed for the much needed coffee.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hi Carrie, what's up?"   
  
"You wouldn't believe what I saw earlier, Madeline."  
  
"Go on..."  
  
Carrie leaned across the table towards her friend. "I saw Doc Fraiser kissing Colonel O'Neill."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Honest to God! She leaned right over him and kissed him on the forehead."  
  
"What did he do?"  
  
"He's sedated."  
  
"Oh." The disappointment was evident in Madeline's voice. "I always thought that him and Major Carter...."  
  
"Yeah, so did everyone. I guess the Doc's carrying a torch for him too..." Carrie shook her head sadly. "She looked so embarrassed when she realised I'd seen what she'd done too. You won't tell anyone about this will you?"  
  
"No, of course not."  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Have you heard the latest, Jill?"  
  
"That Doc Jackson *still* hasn't noticed me? Nothing new there...."  
  
"No, stupid. About Doc Fraiser and Colonel O'Neill....  
  
"What?"  
  
"Carrie saw her kissing him in the infirmary."  
  
"Well, I'll be...."  
  
"I know.... what's Major Carter going to say? The Doc's her best friend...."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Did you know Doc Fraiser and Colonel O'Neill were kissing in the infirmary?"  
  
"NO! Wow.... really kissing?"  
  
"What do you mean, *really* kissing?"  
  
"You know.... tongues and stuff."  
  
"Don't know. Jill didn't say. I guess so. I don't think she'd have mentioned a peck on the cheek."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey, did you hear about the Colonel and the Doctor in the infirmary?"  
  
"No.  
  
"They were making out."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm really jealous of the Doctor...."  
  
"Do you think we ought to tell Major Carter?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, her and the Colonel.... I always thought..."  
  
"Yeah, of course... but it's going to be hard on her isn't it? Her lover and her best friend."  
  
The two women looked up as Daniel Jackson walked into the commissary. "I know! We'll tell him then he can tell the Major."  
  
"Good idea!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Doctor Jackson, could I have a word?"  
  
"Sure... I'm sorry, I don't know your name."  
  
"Lucy. Er... It's kind of delicate, could we go somewhere where we won't be overheard?"  
  
Daniel's brow creased into a frown as he led the young woman to a table on the far side of the room. He sincerely hoped this wasn't going to be a declaration of undying love from a woman whose name he didn't know five minutes ago. He hated it when that happened. He motioned her to sit down. "Well?" he asked curiously.  
  
He saw Lucy swallow hard. "It's like this... we thought it'd be best coming from you, as you're her friend and all..."  
  
The archaeologist felt his frown deepen. "Get to the point, please," he said as patiently as he could manage.  
  
"Doctor Fraiser and Colonel O'Neill are having an affair and we think Major Carter ought to know," Lucy blurted out quickly.  
  
Daniel was struck dumb. "Uh?" was the only noise he made.  
  
"They've been seen in the infirmary.... making out."  
  
He shook his head in disbelief. Jack and Janet? That was right up there with 'the world is flat' and 'the moon is made of Swiss cheese'. He knew for a fact that Sam and Jack were lovers and completely besotted with each other. "I think you've got that wrong," he managed to mutter. Then his befuddled brain remembered something. "When were they seen?"  
  
"Tonight."  
  
"Um... Jack's out cold, Janet sedated him when we got back from our mission."  
  
He noticed Lucy looked momentarily crestfallen, then his heart sank when she brightened and said, leaning over the table towards him and narrowing her eyes, "She's obviously taking advantage of him. Perhaps you ought to have a man to man chat with him when he wakes up. Anyway, I've got to get back on duty. Bye, Doctor Jackson."  
  
Daniel sat and watched her leave. Why did his life sometimes resemble French farce? He let out a deep breath and decided to tackle the root of the apparent problem... Janet.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He stuck his head round the infirmary door and was relieved to see only Janet appeared to be around. "Janet, you busy?" he asked. as she noticed him enter the room.  
  
"Not particularly. Just keeping an eye on sleeping beauty over there."  
  
Daniel glanced across to where Jack was snoring peacefully. "Still out cold, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," she agreed. "So what can I do for you?"  
  
"There's a rumour going round... I don't believe it for a minute, but I thought you ought to know..."  
  
Janet winced. "Is it bad?" she asked nervously.  
  
Daniel shrugged. "Depends how you define 'bad'."  
  
"Worse than the one that said you and the Colonel were lovers?"  
  
"Aarrgghh! Don't remind me about that! I had nightmares about it for months. Just because he lived with me for a few weeks while he had his house remodelled." He shuddered violently.  
  
Janet grinned. "And the only thing that stopped it was another rumour that said you were carrying on with four women at once."  
  
He smiled back. "That one was better for my ego, I have to admit."  
  
"So, come on, Daniel, spit it out!"  
  
"Okay... you're having an affair with Jack and have been seen making out in the infirmary."  
  
Janet's eyebrows shot up in a reasonable impersonation of Teal'c. "Me and the Colonel?" she stammered, "... in the infirmary?"  
  
"Apparently so."  
  
She swung round and looked at her patient. "He's fast asleep."  
  
"You've been taking advantage of him."  
  
"Eeww!"  
  
The sound of footsteps interrupted their conversation. "Janet!" yelled Sam. "I want a word with you."  
  
"She sounds royally pissed," said Daniel quietly.  
  
"Yeah, " muttered Janet, then added more loudly, "I'm over here, Sam."  
  
Sam Carter marched into view, her face like a thundercloud. She narrowed her eyes then spat out venomously, "So when's the baby due, you slut?"  
  
"Er.... Sam?" said Daniel as calmly as he could manage, "I really don't think you ought to believe everything you hear..."  
  
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End file.
